A love letter to self: (From my old blogspot.com site)

Dear Denise,

It's been nearly 32 years that you have thought about your weight. Food, calories, exercise. You know, the typical girl stuff. For twenty of those years you counted calories daily. Qualifying what was okay, when you overate and when you just felt like complete shit. 

So here you are in your 48th year. Last year was the cosmic joke of all cosmic jokes for you. You were sick with a digestive disorder and dropped to 102 pounds on your 5'5 frame. Everyone asked what was wrong with you. You couldn't keep anything down as the bathroom became your new best friend. It was a debilitating and humbling time for you. Although as you always do, you looked at what was really going on to cause this in the first place. Bravo! You nipped it in the bud and today you weigh a muscular and healthy 112. You feel stronger than you have in a very, very long time...

So your skimpier clothes are a bit tighter. Your jeans are no longer falling off your hips. But let's celebrate! You have pretty much healed an autoimmune, digestive illness that doctors say is chronic. Well done. You are finally able to eat fruits and vegetables to your hearts delight and even peanut butter. Is it better to suffer and disappear?

You always speak about five pounds. To your clients, to your self. Why not just make it okay where you are? Deprivation is not good for the SOUL!!! Are you not tired of playing the same tape in your head? Let it go! It just has a distractive quality to it which keeps you from really focusing on what you deepest dreams and desires are. And you know what they are...Don't you think it is truly time to just let it go? Embrace you. All of it. And 112 is pretty f**kin thin anyways...

REPEAT: I am healthy. I am whole. I am full and complete just as I am. I am loved, I am GODDESS, I am divinity in action. And so it is certainly so. 

With Love, Your Higher Self